Upcoming appearance & Visions Map note

It occurred to me that some of you might live in the Palm Beach County/Broward County area and, if so, Mia and I are speaking this coming Saturday at 1 PM at B-nai Torah congregation. If any of you live nearby and can come, I would love to meet you! Full information is on our website.

A note on the visions map: Nikki commented that she wondered how her too-literal mind would deal with it. Beautifully, that's how! The idea is to make a visual declaration of the life you want, the more literal, the better. If you can't see it clearly, you can't create it. If you know exactly where you want to live, find pictures of it; find pictures of exactly the features you want in your home, down to the colors and view.  If you want tranquility, find the images that most speak to you of it. Don't let your "beliefs" about yourself limit you. If they do, then change your beliefs - tell yourself a different story about yourself. And keep telling it to yourself, a hundred times a day, out loud, if necessary, until it's part of you.

In case it helps: When I first began the proposal for my book, I struggled for over a year - "My ADD, I procrastinate, I've got too many obligations, I this, that and the other thing, blah, blah, blah." One morning, after I got really sick of myself, I woke up with "I am calm, focused and productive" in my head. I said that constantly, every day. I thought it, I muttered it under my breath whenever I found myself distracted, I breathed and ate that affirmation as if it were prayer beads in my mouth, over and over (or worry beads depending on the culture.) After a while I was down to a few times a day - a while being months, to be honest. Paul had no idea what came over me, but I stopped kvetching and making excuses and simply finished the proposal in a few months. If he reads this, now he'll know my secret. I didn't share it because I know myself - discussing it would have replaced becoming it. Chatter for me is often a very effective way of avoiding. Oh, hey, now there's another exercise I found REALLY sobering- one day I made myself create a list of all the ways I avoid - emotionally avoid, physically avoid, psychologically, professionally, relationally (is that a word?) Not only did I astonish myself at how long the list was - it was dismaying that the list would change from one week to the next. I had a singular talent for avoidance. Still do. Though, I do catch myself. Sometimes.

If any of you do create a visions map, it would be wonderful if you would guest blog here and share it. I'll show you mine if you show me yours?

Comments

[Cathy]

Claire, way back in program, for us it was '97-'99, so-so long ago, we all did our Visions maps...
Remember how David taught us at PCs! And I remember teaching others at Visions seminars. (For those who don't know, our kids were in a behavioral program, as described in the book,that focused on troubled teens and their troubled parents!)
Thank you for reminding me, I need to dig out my Visions map from 1999, review it, see what I have accomplished and what my current Vision might look like!
Happy Hanukkah
Cathy in Seattle

[Dominic Haygood]

claire i am a 25 year old male living in branson,mo my girlfriend had your book and i just finished reading it i applaud you and your daughter for sharing your story with the world it takes alot of courage to be that brutally honest about something so deeply personal the wisdom you have gained and shared i have adopted into my own life thank you for that thoughts create feelings create actions create habits create character create destiny may your thoughts be allinged with your true destiny peace to your heart claire youve certainly earned it thank you again dominic

[nikkipolani]

Claire, I've printed out your vision map guide and hoping to try it during the Christmas break. Thank you for your encouragement.

[Jeanne]

Happy New Year to you and all your family.
Thank you for your love and kindness always.
2008 WILL be GREAT.
Love Jeanne
Ontario Canada!
Blessings!

[Whitney]

I received your and Mia's book as a Christmas gift and I have to say you two could not have written it better. I couldn't put it down! I had to know what happened next. I look up to the two of you for being able to relive those years while writing the book. The writing style was wonderful! This book has been placed with some of my favorite books.
-Whitney

[Jeanette]

I just read "Come Back" in three days and everyday since, your story enters my mind! It was the most wonderful book. I have not had to deal with some of the exact circumtances as you but I could totally relate with the struggles you had internally and the struggles between you and Mia, the emotions are the same. Thank you for reminding me how sometimes the worst times in our lives end up being the best and the richest. I was reminded to continue to work on myself and to allow my children the oportunity to think and be who they are.

[Kristen]

Claire,
I just finished reading yours and Mia's book, and I dont usually contact authors like this, but it really did inspire me, and I had to thank you for that. Not only did it make me realize that past demons can effect you, but also that I need to face my own.
You two also inspired me to write my own memior (which probably wont be nearly as exciting as yours but why not? :]
Well, just wanted to say thanks.
Kristen-

[Cathy]

Claire, I just sent the webaddress to my cousin whose daughter is 13 and the family is struggling mightily. When we were in those straits, 10 long years ago, there was little or no literature, just books like "Romance of Risk" which was good, but didn't get down into the psyche of parents of troubled teens. No one understands it better than another parent who has been there.
Thank you for sharing it with us all.
We hope to see you on the west coast soon!

Cathy in Seattle
A proud member of the first Parent Visions group, 1998 or 1999 -- I can't remember!

[Carol]

Claire,
THANK-YOU! The book is wonderful! I could relate so much to your feelings, emotions, stress, etc...as I had gone through this with my own daughter but with no one to really turn to while she was getting the help she needed. I'm glad that someone is taking action and letting others know that we don't have to do this alone. It takes alot of courage to go deep within yourself and then reveal all to the world. I hope to see you on the west coast in the future! I would love to meet you.
God Bless and thanks again for being such an inspiration for those that are hurting,
Carol from Sacramento

[amber]

Will you girls be in Northern California at all this year, do you know? I would love to come see you read or speak. ;)

Happy New Year!

:)

[carla]

just read your book, it really hit home for me i also have a daughter who is 28 now and doing great, now. the similarities with your story are too numerous to mention i will say that i went through the same hell you did for about 6 years starting when she was 18. and lived to tell about it. i know how brave you are. also how brave mia is. my daughter now teaches yoga and finds her center everyday as she likes to call it. she also has two beautiful and healthy girls ava is 3 and get this MIA is 2 i am so grateful to have all my girls happy and healthy at long last. thank you for your book. my admiration comes from the heart of a knowing mother. ps. my daughter even looks like mia its so uncanny.

[judy]

I just wanted to say Thank You for writing such a inspirational book. My daughter 16, has overdosed once, skipping school, I put her into a inpatient program and she ran away. I acutally had bought your book the day she turned herself in. I was reading it when to police called. After talking with her Juvenille Officer who could only mandate a outpatient program which consisted of meeting once a week, I with the help of a school counselor are now placing her into another inpatient program in another town 2 hours away. Yes she may run again, and yes I may never see her again, but I know that I have done all that I can do. My daughter's name is Andrea so if you could please say a prayer for her.

Judy- in Missouri